So, you want to hear somethin'?

      7/15/02 - This past week has been such an odd duality. The thought of it just really hit me when I sat to write this. I didn't think I'd have time, but I managed to get everything I had planned accomplished with time to spare. I got to thinking about all the things that I've done, but more where my mind has ended up as a result. Let's see, where to begin?

      First off, I've been steadily unloading my past. Whether it be through conversation or through action, I've managed to slowly and surely continue to move forward. The main part of it has been relating to relationships. It's not that I've been forced to discuss it with anyone, or that it's been coerced out of me. Mainly, it's just what's come up with the natural ebb and flow of conversation, and it feels good to get it out where it's something that can be examined and picked apart. Basically, I haven't really talked about much of what's happened to me as far as it relates to me until recently. Feels good.

      That and I got rid of a piece of my history this past week. I thought for sure when I aquired it that it'd be something that I'd hold onto forever. I thought that it would never leave my possesion, something that I'd have, somewhere either hidden or not so hidden, but have nonetheless. I got rid of it on Wednesday, I think, and I didn't mind it then and won't. Funny how things play out sometimes.

      More than anything, though, I've been looking into the future, trying to get things straight. My future, since May, has been rearranged by the entrance of Becky into my life. I could tell you, much like I tell her, that she's the best thing that's ever happened to me or how she makes me feel alive more than I have been before this. I could spill for the rest of this page, easily, about her, but unless you're in the same situation, you wouldn't appreciate it. Regardless, that's where my mind has been. I've been rearranging things quite a bit to get everything ready, to make sure that when she's closer I'll be able to make her happy.

      I already know I will be.

      There you have the duality. It's not so much that, now that I look it over, as it is a transition. From the past into the future, the former being bleak and muddy, and the latter being nothing but dreams and hope. I can't wait for the future to get here.

I've got all my old rants catalogued, so if you wanna read some of my old stuff, click HERE to see 'em.