I just finished reading Hannibal a coupla days ago. I have to say, that book is a bit tweaked. The last five or six chapters I had my eyes open really far, and didn't even notice. I just got into Timeline, a Crichton book. It's quite an interesting read, although I have to say that I am a bit biased towards his writing. He has always been one to fascinate me with not only his ability to write, but his breadth of knowledge and the ability to relate it so easily. Hmph.
How is it that people can say things they don't mean so easily? I have heard it a million times before, the words that come out of people's mouths that carry no meaning, and have as much impact as the air used to speak them. I can think of a multitude of people in my life right now that do that. I have kept them all away from me, to the best of my ability, due to this lack of substance. There is one man at work who covers his ineptitude at human relations by using trite anecdotes about happenings in life. The other day he approached me about something I had taken care of (or thought I had), and asked why it wasn't done. It was early in the morning, and I was just getting off of my shift. I had no happiness left to share with anyone, and he could sense it. I was rather curt when I explained to him why I thought the matter at hand had been addressed, and he told me to take care of in a very respectful way. Having dealt with it, I began to walk away, wanting nothing more than to go home and crawl into bed. He stopped me, asking if I was alright, why I was down. I told him, quite plainly, that I was tired and wanted to go to sleep and not have to deal with anyone. Apparently, this was not hint enough, and he began to spout of to me how beautiful life was, that, why, just this morning he had seen the most amazing atmospheric effects with the rising sun, and that he wished I could have seen it.....that is where I stopped listening.
I knew that he did not mean that. How? I don't know the man beyond work, why would he care if I saw the sunrise (which I had)? You may say he's just trying to be nice, to get on my good side. That may be true, but why disguise it in some worn out story? A simple acknowledgement of my wish to be left alone at 0630 would have sufficed for me. No, don't think me that rude, but this man has no motivation other than work, so there is no caring. His words are merely a cover for whatever inquiry he may have about work. There are other examples. I know of one that comes by my room every so often. Words pour out that are reserved for lovers and the most intimate friends, and all of them mean nothing. They do in the mind of this person, but in reality they have no bearing on their life or mine. Things that I am embarressed to admit except to my most dear of companions slide off this person's tongue with no regard to the true implications of the phrase spoken.
To say the least, this bothers me. I loathe it, that would be a more accurate statement. The statements I make to others (unless in jest) regarding my thoughts or feelings are all either thought out or honest. At best, they are both. When they have no meaning, though, I do not speak them. Words that have no bearing are better left unsaid, that is my reasoning. To me, there are few things more precious than hearing the words exchanged between lovers in the soft of night. To hear words like that outside their proper place defaces their value. It makes them just words, not feelings that are trying to be expressed. There are also moments between friends that can be just as meaningful to the soul. Times when words are an extension of the meaning behind them. Offers of help, thoughts of praise. Saying these words does not make them true. Meaning them makes them true.
There's my thought for the day. Now you know, so don't say something you don't mean. You will lose my respect for it, and I say that after much thought.
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