So, you want to hear somethin'?

      4/01/01 - Well, I finally got a minute today to sit and write what exactly happened when I was in Germany. Well, maybe not exactly, and I know damn well it won't be detailed. If you couldn't guess that, then you're pretty slow, and shouldn't waste the rest of your day reading this. Needless to say, I did have a good time. Brandon, Greg, and Megan did as well, unless they were lying to me. Either way wouldn't bother me much, all I know is that I enjoyed being somewhere where no one spoke my language. Ok, I'll do my best to write a day to day account, without boring you too much on silliness. I'll say this, now, too: the second week, Brandon and Greg (I'm sure) have more stories. This is mine, though, with what they told me:

SUNDAY - We showed up. That's right, imagine that. Came off the plane and back to my mom's apartment for somewhere around lunch. We ate, then all summarily decided that we needed to sleep in order to function properly. We woke up, and went to my uncle Manfred's rugby club. We were there to watch my cousin Alex play (they won), and we hadn't been there but ten minutes when Wolfgang took us up to the clubhouse to have a beer on him. I realize why I love my family so much: they rock. That was about it for that day, though. Jet lag, you know how it is.

MONDAY - Woke up before noon. I decided the guys needed to see downtown (Megan wasn't there yet). We went and got all of our shopping done...you wouldn't believe how many people want a stein when you go to Germany. Nuts. Brandon and Greg needed it, too, though. Shopping for friends accomplished, we decided the rest of our money was better spent on us. So we went out drinking. Heidelberg (the city we stayed in) has a pedestrian walk called the Hauptstrasse. It's about a mile and a half (not including side streets) of stores, resteraunts, bars, and more stores. Just nice, especially for bar hopping. Which is what we did. Ended up and some bar called the Tangentia (something like that). It's a small discothek, someplace for after hours more than anything. We showed up at eleven, and we were the first customers. We drank ourselves drunk. Brandon took a shot of 73% Captain Morgan, it fucked him all up. He also picked up a round of Zombies, which were 42 DM for three. That's like 21 bucks. Over there, that's unheard of. So we drank them, stole the ashtray and pen and paper we borrowed as a matter of spite, and left.

TEUSDAY - Got up around two in the afternoon. It would prove to not be nearly enough sleep. We chilled out until about 6 or so. Alex stopped by, and told us he could head out for a couple of hours, but had to get up uber stupid early to make it to work (security). So we went out and learned that a Hot Duck is a shot that has a touch of Tabasco, an orange slice, and a sugar cube that they set on fire. So that was the start of the night. Fucking nuts. We found the Pepper Bar, though, that night. Outstanding place, full of acid jazz and techno flowing around the air. Real smooth looking, and employs this one guy named Sascha. I'll elaborate a bit on him: he kicks ass. He still liked us after this, our first, night there. You'll see...hang on. Back to Sascha: he's a pro. Real slick with his bartending skills. Just enough show to make it seem like he's not stressed taking eight million orders. Drawing a tap, pouring shots, and blending the daquiries they serve (really good, but lots of fresh fruit, which means lots of blending), he never missed a beat. Ok, back to the night. We watched Sascha pour a shot of this blue stuff, later renamed Blue Shit by us, the drunk Americans. It's gin, blue curacao, and a touch of bitters. Well, that night we had somewhere around.....oh.....six thousand four hundred and thirteen of them. "Blue Shit! You too!" Greg would scream, trying in vane to get Sascha drunk. It didn't happen. Greg ended up face-first into the bar, literally. Slept there for a couple of hours. We let him, although him being him, he offered to take the tab. By the end of the night, though, he was too incoherent to sign the ticket, if he had even been able to take his wallet out of his pocket. I took it for him, though. 176 DM, which is like almost 90 dollars. In Germany, it's unheard of. It was to me, too. Greg doesn't remember the whole of that night. He doesn't recall hugging a bunch of strangers, or hitting me and Brandon constantly. Scene missing, as it used to say on old films. I took the bill, though, it was all in the name of fun. Me and Brandon walked Greg all the way down Hauptstrasse (the full length, the Pepper Bar is at the end, off on a side street). Greg made it alright, then proceeded to decorate the outside of the Benz taxi with his innards. All good, though, just like I said. You see why Sascha is cool to even stand us anymore? Yeah.

WEDNESDAY - Got up late. Yep, late. Hungover. Decided that we needed to do something, despite Greg's extreme hungoverness. I won't even try and spell the name of the place we went to, just sound it out: Schwetzingen. They have a huge set of gardens up there, all laid out behind a huge noble house. I mean from back in the day of knights noble. Huge. Well, they were holding a Dali exhibit while we were there, and as chance would have it....that's Brandon's favorite artist. So we went. Turns out that the ticket to the gardens is also a coupon for a free beer across the street at the brewery. So we went there for lunch afterwards, and Greg and I sacrificed our tickets to my mom and Brandon due to the night prior. Fine by me, I thought. We went out again that night, though. Back to the Pepper Bar, even though Greg and Brandon were apprehensive. They don't understand the country, that they'd be welcome back no matter what happened, like a sign of goodwill, almost. So we went back and Sascha (of course) remembered us. We drank slowly that night, and Sascha only made us take one shot of the Blue Shit (Greg calls it the Blue Death now). I mean made us, too. Bastard. It's all good, though, he's a damn good guy. Hope my pictures of him turn out. They should be ready in a week or so, in case you're wondering. That was the end of that night, though, no puking involved.

THURSDAY - A definite chill day. Woke up and went to Dilsberg, a walled city nearby. It was raining. It had been, I forgot to mention. It was overcast and sprinkling every day we were there. The Neckar, which runs through Heidelberg, was flooding the entire time. The only day it was sunny was the day we left. I mean that, too, not just as a joke. It's all good, though, as I'm fond of saying. We went up to Dilsberg, anyways. Walked around, then just when we thought we might get a break from the rain at least, to climb the tower, nature laughed at us. It started pouring. Bad. So we took off. Got down the hill, and it got better (you didn't expect that?). We went back to the apartment, though, to relax. No drinking, especially for me, who started getting sick then. I had to get up early anyways to meet Megan at the airport. So we went to a local resteraunt. Real fancy place, like you get two wine glasses right off the bat. We sat and enjoyed a marvelous dinner. That was about that.

FRIDAY - Went and got Megan in the morning. Turns out she had some big rigamarolle with her flight being switched to another flight and her luggage "misplaced" for a day. No harm, no foul, though. Got back and Greg and Brandon took off to go to the Heidelberg castle and amphitheater. Megan and I stayed back, her being jet lagged and me being sick. Got to nap, talk for a bit. Pleasantries, you know. Well, my mom came back alone about dinner, Greg and Brandon had stayed out downtown. Megan and I both got dressed and took off downtown to see if we could spot them. We did, of course, and Sean Og, the best Irish pub in all of Heidelberg. Went in and met up with them, then off to dinner and back to the Pepper Bar. Greg and Brandon decided to stay out too late again, and did. All good, though. That's the end of that, then.

SATURDAY - Woke up about to die. I don't get sick often, and I'll always say I'm alright....but I wasn't, not even close. Eh. Chilled out for a large portion of the day. Manfred had a couple of people (it's his building my mom's apartment is in, he lives on the ground floor). I showed up in time to realize that I was about to pass out, and went back up to wait for dinner. My mom knows how to cook damn well, and fed us heartily every day before now. That night, though, she fed us more. I thought I was gonna blow up. Well, Megan and I relaxed for the night, and watched some TV with my mom. Greg and Brandon went out again, with my cousin Alex (you know, the rugby guy?). Got all fucked up at a bus stop, then Alex fell asleep at a place called the SMC, a much less friendly bar. They didn't take too well to him sleeping and promptly asked them to leave. Stumbled in and woke me right up. It's all good, though. That was the night Greg sleepwalked his way over to the edge of my bed and fell down, I laughed so hard. It was just unexpected, to say the least. You shoulda seen his eyes, too. Hilarious.

SUNDAY - Sunday in Germany is actually a relaxed day. We didn't do shit. Literally. We woke up late, then sat around all day. I learned that my site blew up (crazy amounts of people, I still don't understand it). Watched TV. Then slept.

MONDAY - Took off to Baden Baden. My mom, Megan, Brandon, Greg, and me. Got lost (thanks pookie), but managed to keep it a secret from my mom. I decided that Brandon needed to navigate from now on, and he did. Found the baths that Megan wanted to see, so mission accomplished. Went through the Black Forest for a bit. Ended up in some tiny little town that had one inn that was also the bar. It was like being in a postcard. I mean that, too. We were up one two floors, and our balcony overlooked the church for this little town in the hills. Had that moment to make it all worth it. Well, we got my mom pretty talkative (that's the way parents say drunk), and retired for the night.

TEUSDAY - Took off, and found a castle nearby to visit. Spent too much time for a sick man hiking up to it, but was utterly astounded when I got there. The place was a fortress. I know, you're saying, "It's a castle, dummy," but most places were simply symbols of power. This one, though (out by Horb, that's all I know) was utterly amazing. It was built to kill anyone who wasn't supposed to make it inside. Up away on a hill, like some menacing beast made of stone, and full of archer points the entire way up. There was something like four gates and moats. I just couldn't fathom it as I walked up. We got the tour of the place and ate up there, too. Left and drove all the way back to Kirscheim (the 'burb of Heidelburg we stayed in). Greg and Brandon decided to go out, Megan and I were taking off the next day, so we didn't bother. Brandon ended up all fucked up that night, and puked outside of the Pepper Bar. They both came home and didn't say anything (I mean anything) before collapsing into bed.

WEDNESDAY - Megan and I took off bright and early to go to Rothenburg. It's off in the Eastern portion of the country. It's a massive walled city, quite scenic. Well, we took somewhere around four hours to make it, which isn't bad considering we had no idea how long it was going to take. Took all back roads, me and her in this tiny little '84 VW Golf. Just asking for something to happen. We got to see a sheep crossing, I got to drive like I had a car with an engine as opposed to hamsters. Fun all around. We got to Rothenburg, and drove into it. I love driving in places where I probably shouldn't, so I had fun. We found a hotel in the middle of town, and decided we needed to stay there. Luckily the "official" toursist season didn't start for another week, so we stayed in a 430 DM room (220 bucks) for like 170 DM. You do the math. We roamed the town and took pictures of stuff, and I found a place that had deer on the menu. Heavenly. I loved every bite, then every bite of half of what Megan didn't eat. Well, we retired to drinking in the lobby of the hotel, had a good long talk (could've for days).

THURSDAY - Woke up and went wine shopping. Megan got a couple of bottles, and we took off. Got lost a few times (thanks pookie) but got to see some beautiful sights due to it. It's vacation, getting lost is half the fun, so we fulfilled our portion. Had a good laugh or two or sixteen. Got back as dinner was being served. Alex was over, and the group of them were going to Mannheim (about fifteen minutes north of Heidelberg). Heard about Brandon's exploits, meeting some Norweigian chick who wrote her name in lipstick on his stomach. They had ended up at Alex's. Figures, I thought. Well, Megan and I struck it out alone again, and went out to get some drinks. Megan, apparently went out to get me drunk (close). Brandon and Greg didn't come home that night. Brandon got a hotel and Greg was at Alex's. Figures.

FRIDAY - Megan and I got up early and did the Heidelberg castle thing. It's gorgeous. Partly ruin, part maintained. Just a nice place to walk through. Amazing view of the city below, too. We did that, and went out and got a gyro. Headed back, then tried to find a decent bar in Kirscheim. Couldn't do it. All kinda scary, actually. Went back to the room and passed out. Greg stumbled in at something like 0445 (we left Saturday morning) and slept. Brandon and Alex were still drinking, and Brandon didn't sleep. He doesn't remember getting on the plane at all. Just enough to make you shake your head.

      That's the basics of it. Good time. I didn't drink that much, did that last time I was there. Kinda like Brandon and Greg did. Had immeasurable amounts of fun, though. If you can't guess whose fault it was that I did, I won't tell you.

I've got all my old rants catalogued, so if you wanna read some of my old stuff, click HERE to see 'em.